An awesome find…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  Nelson Mandela’s 1994 Inaugural Speech- written by Marianne Williamson 

Man, those are powerful words!!  Let me first catch you up to speed on how I came to this quote.  I have an (sometimes a curse, sometimes a blessing) over-analytical mind.  This morning’s sermon at church was awesome!!  It got the old think tank going in a million different directions, before finally settling down on one thing…am I living my life right?  My mind sent a message to my heart that it was time to do some major growing.  

We talked about “What do I tell my friends about what I owe Jesus.” I know, I know…it sounds like a title from one of those tracts you get from the rack at church.  Seriously though, it was an amazing sermon!  Phil gave four major points of debt, “I owe Jesus my: love, loyalty, obedience, and sacrifice.”  Here are a couple of great quotes from the sermon- “Christianity is a daily faith…a commitment;”  ”He died for me, and I died with Him;”  ”Obedience isn’t when things are easy, it’s when I have to stretch and grow;” and “Are you conscious of the sacrifice God made on your behalf…thank Him with lives of service.”  

The discussion then led to, “I can’t have (live according to) the world’s values and claim that I am living for God.”  Of course that sweet conscience of mine asks, “Are you living according to the world or according to God’s Word.”  I would love to say that I could immediately say, “Woo Hoo!  I’m always living according to God’s Word!”  Well, it’s not really that easy.  Yes, I strive to live every day through God’s Word- believing, praying and repenting.  The part that I get caught up in is believing what the world tells me.  I’m not as shallow as believing everything that it tells me or really even looking to the world for acceptance.  I’m talking about that part of you that allows some of the lies into your brain.  Let’s face it, most of what the world tells you is lies.  Worldly things are selfish, so all it can tell you is things that will allow it to continue in selfishness.  

Yep, you knew it was heading this way.  The world tells you that you don’t meet expectations if you don’t have perfection.  Perfection expectations can take many forms…physical, emotional, intellectual.  Every where you go there are books, magazines, tv shows and people who are sending you subliminal, and most times blatant, messages about who you are and where to categorize yourself in this life.  

I think the Nelson Mandela quote says it all…we place ourselves unknowingly in darkness, when we hold ourselves back for fear.  He takes it a step further to say that we fear being powerful in faith, even more, because we know that it will be an even harder fall.  That can be masked as humility or anything else you want to call it, but the biggest point is that it is contradictory to our faith.  We need to show anyone and everything the love and grace of God through our actions, because there aren’t many people willing to hear the Word from someone who isn’t striving to practice what their preaching.  Again, we’re not teaching perfection, we’re teaching grace.  

We fear not being good enough, which keeps us from putting ourselves out there and trying.  The world is always telling us we aren’t good enough, so when would we really ever get the chance to be in the light?  It’s procrastination, plain and simple.  We put it off because it is uncomfortable and awkward and it is much easier to believe those things about ourselves, than to fight back against them and believe otherwise.  Believing otherwise would mean that we would need to pull our faith from where we have it hidden and let it out to be vulnerable against the things in this world.  Yes, there will be quite a bit of pain by doing that, but if we don’t put our faith out there…it will only grow to the size of the container we keep it in.  Hiding it is putting it in quite a small container.  It’s like the parable of the talents…are we going to bury them for fear of losing them or are we going to take a risk and invest it in others and help it to multiply in worth.  Faith is priceless to us, and can be even more priceless to others.

Okay, enough of the preaching.  I guess this is where I will admit my fears- fear of failure, which is part of the bigger fear, dissappointment.  It took me a long time to find my identity in God and I’m not going to let the world take it.  Today’s sermon was an excellent reminder to get back to thinking that way, so that I don’t live otherwise.  I found the Mandela quote and thought it was an excellent way to sum up thoughts on the sermon.  It was very profound and completely true.  We need to be strong in our faith and let our actions show the same.  If we aren’t confident in God, we will not be confident in ourselves…most of the time we try to become confident in ourselves, before we try to become confident in God.  It just doesn’t work that way.  Woo Hoo for an excellent sermon!  : )

Couldn’t get it out of my head…

This poem was read at a friend’s funeral and I can’t seem to get the words out of my head.  It has made quite an impression on me.  He had sent it to his mother, because he had loved it so much and wanted to share it with someone he loved.  I am sure his intentions were to truly honor and appreciate the beautiful poetry, but what he really did was allow us a glimpse into a heart that knew no bounds.  He was a man of noble character, strong faith, and he possessed a powerful passion for serving others.  He lived and breathed compassion and servant-hood, because he believed that life should serve a higher purpose.   He led a life full of simplicity and humility, which together makes a powerful combination for changing lives.  I know he changed the lives of everyone he came in contact with, because he most certainly did mine.  Sadly, I didn’t realize just how big of an impression it was, until he was gone.  Here is the poem that he shared with his mother and at the risk of sounding dramatic…the words leave me speechless. 

The Prayer of an Unknown Confederate Soldier

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for-but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I among all men, am most richly blessed.

Thought provoking stuff…

Thought I would share this entry from John Eldredge’s blog, because it made me stop and think “How many times do I focus on Heaven during the day?” and “Do my daily actions bring me closer to heaven?” Goodness, I definitely found myself lacking, especially when I compared it to how many times I focus on myself and being anxious about the direction of things in my life.  Definitely humbling…and appreciated.

How Much of God is in a Single Day?

I woke up feeling anxious. Looked at my watch. 6:11. No need to jump out of bed just yet, so I lingered there in order to pay attention to the anxiety. What is this about Lord? Why am I feeling anxious? I lay there for about twenty minutes, just sort of inviting Jesus into the nameless fear and asking him to heal and deliver, all the while paying attention to what is going on inside of me and what it is God might want to reveal. Why am I anxious? What is going on down in my soul? Yes, this might be warfare. But it might also be something more. Something needing attention.

For the past couple days, I’ve been aware (again) of how I hurl myself at life. My ethic is “Stay on top of things.” This I have known for sometime. But the newer revelations have to do with this nagging sense of “I’m blowing it” (this is the G rated version). I often feel that I’m blowing it. I wondered what this had to do with the anxiousness. What do I pray, Lord? “Ask my life to come in. My life.” Yes, it’s about the life of God. So laying there in bed, I’m praying for the life of God to come in.

Later, I am saying my morning prayers. And what is becoming clear to me is how in my youth, through my wounds, I came to believe life is up to me, and how I turned to self-preservation through striving and staying on top of things. I felt I needed to repent of that, right now. I knew how the Enemy gets a stronghold in our lives when we come to these deep resolutions toward self-preservation (they are godless, whatever form they take). I did not turn to God in my youth; I turned to myself. It created an awful burden, to stay on top of things. Now I am anxious. Is there any real wonder why? It felt like a continuation of the prayer time in bed. Jesus, forgive me. Come into this. Cleanse me, heal me.

What was so right on about God’s guidance to invite his life in is that when we live by the life of God, he the Vine and we the branches, then we are connected as we were meant to be, and life is not up to us. So I prayed for the Life of God to come into all these anxious places.

Now, all of this is before breakfast.

Later I go into what we call the “bunkhouse.” It’s where the boys sleep when we are at the ranch. But it is empty. The boys left for home about an hour ago.  I am just checking around, making sure they didn’t leave anything and wham, I am hit with the fact that they are gone, maybe for the last time this summer. The bunkhouse is empty. Another season is passing. What follows hard on that realization is grief. How quickly they are growing up, how time is flying by. How it hurts to have them gone, to have this season passing.

I sit outside for a few minutes so as not to blow by this moment. It feels tender, and profound. I am suddenly aware of how hard I try to make life work, how fleeting life is, and how little I think about heaven. I’m remembering this feeling, this sense of something golden lost, and how it used to usher me into the realization that my hopes have to be fixed on heaven or I am just striving to make life work and setting myself up for a massive letdown. And loss of heart.

All of this before 2pm.

And I find myself wondering – how much of God is there in a single day? I mean, holy cow. If we will but pay attention, take notice both of what is going on inside us, and around us, and talk to God about it…wow. How much is he bringing to us in a single day?

The Last Waltz…

Seriously…if you are a hardcore music fan, you MUST see this movie!!!! It is phe-nom-enal!! Wow, what an amazing line-up of musicians! It is a documentary movie of the last show played by “The Band” who were all very talented musicians, both vocal and instrumental. As if that wasn’t enough…they had an unbelievable line-up of guest appearances (see list below). Wow…I’m in awe. Again, that Scorsese knows his stuff!! I thought this was an excellent first post on Tuk-Tuk! : )

Directed by
Martin Scorsese

	Robbie Robertson	…	Himself – Lead Guitar / Vocal (as The Band)
	Rick Danko	…	Himself – Bass & Violin & Vocal (as The Band)
	Richard Manuel	…	Himself – Piano / Keyboards / Drums / Vocal (as The Band)
	Levon Helm	…	Himself – Drums / Mandolin / Vocal (as The Band)
	Garth Hudson	…	Himself – Organ / Accordion / Saxophone / Synthesizers (as The Band)
	Eric Clapton	…	Himself – Performer
	Neil Diamond	…	Himself – Performer
	Bob Dylan	…	Himself – Performer
	Joni Mitchell	…	Herself – Performer
	Neil Young	…	Himself – Performer
	Emmylou Harris	…	Herself – Performer
	Ringo Starr	…	Himself – Performer
	Paul Butterfield	…	Himself – Performer
	Dr. John	…	Himself – Performer
	Van Morrison	…	Himself – Performer
	Ronnie Hawkins	…	Himself – Performer
	Mavis Staples	…	Herself – Performer (as The Staples)
	Roebuck ‘Pops’ Staples	…	Himself – Performer (as The Staples)
	Muddy Waters	…	Himself – Performer
	Ron Wood	…	Himself – Performer
	Michael McClure	…	Himself – Performer (as Michael Mc Clure)
	Lawrence Ferlinghetti	…	Himself – Performer
	Martin Scorsese	…	Himself – Interviewer
	Jim Gordon	…	Himself – Performer
	Tom Malone	…	Himself – Performer
	Howard Johnson	…	Himself – Performer
	Jerry Hey	…	Himself – Performer (as Jerry Hay)
	Richard Cooper	…	Himself – Performer
	Charlie Keagle	…	Himself – Performer
	Larry Packer	…	Himself – Performer
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
	Bob Margolin	…	Himself – Plays guitar with Muddy Waters
	Bill Graham	…	Himself (at edge of stage) (uncredited)
	Robert Guidry	…	Himself (uncredited)
	Pinetop Perkins	…	Himself – Plays piano with Muddy Waters (uncredited)
	Carl Radle	…	Himself (uncredited)

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