Pride vs. Humility

Found these on a random blog this morning and thought they were awesome!

Characteristics of a proud unbroken spirit as compared to a humble broken spirit

1. Proud people focus on the failures of others. Broken people are overwhelmed with the sense of their own spiritual need .
2. Proud people are self-righteous- have a critical, fault-finding spirit looking at everyone else’s faults with a microscope but their own with a telescope. They look down on others. Broken people are compassionate. They can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven. They think the best of others and esteem all others better themselves.
3. Proud people have an independent, self-sufficient spirit. Broken people have a dependent spirit and recognize their need for others .
4. Proud people have to prove that they are right. Broken people are willing to yield the right to be right.
5. Proud people claim rights and have demanding spirit . Broken people yield their rights and have a meek spirit.
6. Proud people are self-protective of their time and their rights and their reputation.
7. Broken people are self-denying.
8. Proud people desire to be served. Broken people are motivated to serve others.
9. Proud people desire to be a success. Broken people are motivated to be faithful and make others successful.
10. Proud people desire for self-advancement. Broken people desire to promote others .
11. Proud people have a drive to be recognized and appreciated and are wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked. Broken people have a sense of their own unworthiness and are thrilled that God would use them at all in any ministry, they are eager to give others the credit and they rejoice when others are lifted up .
12. Proud people have a sub conscious feeling this ministry is privileged to have me and my gifts and they think of what they can do for God. Broken people have a heart attitude that says I don’t deserve to have any part in this ministry and they have nothing to offer to God, but the life of Jesus flowing through their broken lives.
13. Proud people feel confident in how much they know. Broken people are humbled by how very much they have to learn.
14. Proud people are self conscious. Broken people are not concerned with self at all.
15. Proud people keep others at arms length. Broken people are willing to risk getting close to others and loving intimately.
16. Proud people are quick to blame others. Broken people accept personal responsibility and can see where they were wrong in a situation.
17. Proud people are unapproachable. Broken people are easy to be entreated.
18. Proud people are defensive when criticized. Broken people receive criticism with an open, humble Spirit.
19. Proud people are concerned with being respectable and what others think and working to protect their own image and reputation. Broken people are concerned with being real what they care about is what God knows and are willing to die to their own reputation.
20. Proud people find it difficult to share their spiritual needs with others. Broken people are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs.
21. Proud people want to be sure that no one knows they have sinned to cover up. Broken people are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose.
22. Proud people have a hard time In saying, “I was wrong, will you forgive me.”
23. Broken people are quick to admit their failures and seek forgiveness when necessary.
24. Proud people in confessing their sins, tend to deal in generalities. Broken people are able to deal with the specific conviction of God’s spirit.
25. Proud people fear consequences of their sin. Broken people are grieved over the cause the root of their sin.
26. Proud people are remorseful they got found out. Broken people are repentant over their sin which is evidenced by the fact they forsake them
27. Proud people when misunderstood in relationships, wait for the other one to come and ask for forgiveness. Broken people take the initiative to see if they can get to the Cross first no matter how wrong the other may have been.
28. Proud people compare themselves with others and feel worthy of honor. Broken people compare themselves with the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for mercy.
29. Proud people are blind to their real heart condition. Broken people walk in the light
30. Proud people think they have nothing to be repentant of. Broken people realize that they have a need of a continual heart attitude of repentance.
31. Proud people are unbroken and don’t think they need revival, but they are sure everyone else does. Broken people continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit.

Past post present…

Okay, so I found this post in my draft section and thought I would go ahead and post it because it is still highly applicable.  I changed it up a bit because when I wrote it I was in the depths of despair over wondering if I was going to have a job back in February of this year.  I’ll go ahead and save you the emotional details and spoil the end of that story by telling you that, yes, I was laid off from my job shortly after.  Anyway, I took out the stuff about the job to clean it up a bit.  I’m very happily employed these days, so no use bringing up the bitter past!  Now onto what I’ve been blabbering about…

I LOVE the songs that Daniel Lanois writes…like “The Maker” and “Save Me.”  He definitely has made a career out of connecting his heart with his writing.  I won’t go into all the people who have covered his songs, because this blog post would go for days.  I was sitting at my computer the other day…thinking and wondering about the many things I often think and wonder about.  No, I’m not going to divulge those details.  Of course, those thoughts led to God and what direction He has me going in this life.  I know…deep, right?  Sometimes I’m good for such a thing.  I felt like I was at a breaking point with several things when I heard the song, “The Maker” by Dave Matthews.  The lyrics slapped me.  It was exactly what I needed to hear at that exact moment.  Lanois’ songs are poetically passionate and some are even deeply spiritual.  He has been around for some time and has many rings on his song writing tree.  I didn’t know a lot about him until recently, but now that I have done my research…I have a whole new appreciation!  I thought “Falling at Your Feet” was pretty awesome lyric-wise and then I found this video on YouTube- Daniel and Bono performing the song and I thought it was pretty awesome.

Bono and Daniel Lanois—Falling at Your Feet

Every chip from every cup
Every promise given up
Every reason that’s not enough
Is falling, falling at your feet

Every band elastic limit
Every race when there’s nothing in it
Every winner that’s lost a ticket
Is falling, falling at your feet
I’ve come crawling, falling at your feet

Everyone who needs a friend
Every life that has no end
Every knee not ready to bend
Is falling, falling at your feet
I’ve come crawling, now I’m falling at your feet

All fall down (All the manic dazed faces that you pull)
All fall down (All the action is not under your control)
All fall down (The graffiti rolling down off of your tongue)
All fall down (And the compromise you make for some)

Every teenager with acne
Every face that’s spoiled by beauty
Every adult tamed by duty
They’re all falling at your feet

Every foot in every face
Every cop’s stop who finds the grace
Every prisoner in the maze
Every hand that needs an ace
Is falling, falling at your feet
I’ve come crawling, and I’m falling at your feet

(All fall down) All the books you never read
(All fall down) Just started
(All fall down) All the meals you rushed
(All fall down) Never tasted

Every eye closed by a bruise
Every player who just can’t lose
Every pop star howling abuse
Every drunk back on the booze
All falling at your feet
Oh I’m falling at your feet

(All fall down) All the information
(All fall down) All the big ideas
(All fall down) All the radio waves
(All fall down) Electronic seas
(All fall down) How to navigate
(All fall down) How to simply be
(All fall down) To know when to wait
(All fall down) This plain simplicity
(All fall down) In whom shall I trust
(All fall down) How might I be still
(All fall down) Teach me to surrender (All fall down) Not my will, thy will

It’s been a while…

I took a somewhat brief pause in sighing over getting stuck behind a slow-moving school bus while driving down Jefferson Street today (which I am still not sure how I ended up on).  During my brief sabbatical from self-centeredness (is that a true word?) I happened to notice the kids coming off the bus.  I will preface this with, God bless teachers.  I couldn’t see the side of the bus, so I really can’t say whether they took the proper exit from the bus door or if they pushed each other out of the windows.  Either way, they came off of that bus at around 60 mph….well, more like 40 mph when you subtract the wind drag they receive from their mouths flapping wide open while running a mile a minute.  Anyway, I digress.  

What I was getting to is that the first group of kids consisted of maybe 4 girls and 4 boys.  We’ll call the first girl, “Girl A.”  Girl A comes off the bus first and noticeably alone.  She has a strained look on her face.  She appears to be taller than all the other kids and equally proportioned horizontally.  Then pops off the group of boys, about four in count.  ”Boy A” is experiencing exactly what I was referring to earlier when I mentioned “wind drag.”  He was yelling something when he came off the bus, but I didn’t hear what it was at first.  I noticed he and his “boys” were walking quickly to remain behind Girl A as they walk down the sidewalk.  As they get closer to my truck I hear what they are saying, or singing rather…I believe it was something of their own creation which they thought was quite clever.  Girl A keeps glancing back to look at them the entire time and now I know the reason for both her repeated looks and the strained facial expression.  The terribly clever group of boys were singing “Here piggy, piggy…Oink, Oink, Oink!!!”  

My heart broke for her.  Yes, I realize that this whole story is terribly cliché and it is all a part of growing up…whatever.  I was that girl once.  No, I didn’t necessarily get made fun of for my weight…at least, not that I am aware.  I gained most of my weight in college, which luckily I attended a Christian-bubble university.  Actually, to be completely honest…I’m pretty sure I made fun of my weight way more than anyone else.  I do know what it feels like to be rejected and to feel out-of-place though and it isn’t a fun experience.  I blame no one for the feelings I experienced but myself, because I did it to myself.  I hid from years and years of heartbreak.  Weight was my security blanket for a long time.  I’ve only just managed to rid myself of some of that blanket, because I am finally ready.  God has healed my heart and now I am free…My bad, went on a Shawna soapbox for a minute.  Sorry.  

Okay, promise…Back to Girl A.  There was also a group of girls, approximately 3 or 4, who were walking behind the immature boy-band.  The girls were giggling and whispering to each other as they walked, most likely trying to support their favorite boy-band.  To be honest, this story doesn’t go much further than that…but it really doesn’t need to go any further.  I sat there, mostly because the bus wasn’t going anywhere, and watched the whole thing feeling like I wish that I could do something or say something.  I felt helpless.  I thought about it for the rest of the drive, which is what made me blab it all out here tonight.  I don’t really have a grand epiphany to relate or a grandiose tale about how I got out and told those boys off and went straight to their mothers.  I was just thinking about how mean people can be and how bad it stinks to be on that receiving end.  We all know what it feels like to be awkward at times and to feel disconnected and we all know what it feels like when someone takes that extra step to make us feel normal and a part of things.  It would have been so much easier for all involved if the boys would have laughed and joked with each other and all the girls were walking and talking together…but that isn’t how things work.  After processing it out in my mind during the ride and for the last little bit…I actually came to a completely different conclusion.  

I didn’t even know my thoughts would veer the way they did, so I surprised myself.  Bear with me, I do have an actual point.  My final thoughts on everything is that, yes, it totally stinks that poor girl had to endure that walk home and probably all of her walks home with those same squeaky boys.  She will most likely suffer emotional scars from the whole thing and go through many similar situations/feelings during her lifetime.  My desire to end her pain at the bus stop today would maybe have given her a small reprieve, but it wouldn’t have made it all go away forever.  It’s pain.  It hurts.  It always hurts…but that is what we are supposed to experience to grow.  Am I glad she experienced pain the way she did?  NO!  Do I think she had to experience it that way.  No.  What I do think is that she has the chance to use it to shape herself into a strong woman.  Believe me, I speak from experience.  I’ve seen a lot of pain in my life and it took me almost 32 years to get to what I am writing out in this blog today.  Pain is part of the human experience and it is what shapes us into who we are and how strong we become.  I never realized what a strong woman God made me by all the heartache I have experienced in my life.  Am I completely healed from it, no.  I have only just learned to view it with a different lens.  God brought me to this place, not me.  I had to work on the inside for a long time before I could work on the outside.  I’m finally to that place and I am happy.  I am content with who I am and I love me.  Am I my biggest fan? Probably not.  However, I am proud of being exactly who God made me and part of that is being proud of how far I have come in my journey.  I love my life and I love my God.  I love my compassionate heart and my gift for serving others.  I love my joy of laughter and making others laugh.  I am still a work in progress on the outside, but I am getting there.  I will reach that goal when it is time and I will love myself even if I don’t.  

That little girl reminded me today that I had to go through everything I did in my life to find contentment.  God didn’t cause any of it, but He sure has used it to His glory…and for that I am truly thankful.  I pray that little girl grows up to be one amazing woman and that she uses all these experiences as a sharpening tool.

Man, all this emotional memory lane stuff has made me want a cookie.

Simplistically speaking…

From the mouth of Henry D. Thoreau…

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! “Still we live meanly, like ants; though the fable tells us that we were long ago changed into men; like pygmies we fight with cranes; it is error upon error, and clout upon clout, and our best virtue has for its occasion a superfluous and evitable wretchedness. Our life is frittered away by detail. An honest man has hardly need to count more than his ten fingers, or in extreme cases he may add his ten toes, and lump the rest.

Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb nail. In the midst of this chopping sea of civilized life, such are the clouds and storms and quick-sands and thousand and one items to be allowed for, that a man has to live, if he would not founder and go to the bottom and not make his port at all, by dead reckoning, and he must be a great calculator indeed who succeeds. Simplify, simplify. Instead of three meals a day, if it be necessary eat but one; instead of a hundred dishes, five; and reduce other things in proportion.” Henry D. Thoreau, Walden, Where I Lived, and What I Lived For, p. 56

What an excellent quote!  Thoreau had his mind and heart in the right place.  This life is not about material things and superficial relationships…its about loving others, building strong relationships, serving God and spreading His Word.

I’ve been feeling the call for a more simplistic life for quite a while now, especially after spending the last two weeks in Russia.  It was great to spend the last two weeks without a cell phone, computer or ipod…it reminded me of life before these distractions.  Don’t get me wrong, technology has a lot of benefits and I don’t want to necessarily give them up, but I do want to let go of some of my dependence on them.  I have felt so distracted lately and have longed to live my life more simplistically.  I’m tired of debt, junk and clutter.  I just want to go to work and come home and not think about work.  I want to spend time with the people I love and not feel rushed to be somewhere else all the time.  I want to live my life not knowing or caring what is on t.v.  I want more free time and clarity, so that I can study and live out God’s Word. I want to live out the rest of my years doing things that matter, instead of rushing through it all just to get to the end and wish I had taken it slower.

It feels so wonderful to have a fresh perspective on things and I pray that I keep my mind and heart clear so that I don’t lose it.  God is so good!

It Just Comes Natural…

Man, this song says it all…this is exactly how it should be done.  No pushing or pulling done from either side.

“It Just Comes Natural” by George Strait

Sun shines, Clouds rain
Train Whistles blow and Guitars Play
Preachers Preach, Farmers Plow
Wishes go up and the World goes round

And I love you, It just comes Natural
It just comes Natural
Seasons Change, Rivers Wind
Tumble Weeds roll and the Stars shine
Wind Howls, dawn breaks
Cowboys riding’ time slips away

And I love you, It just comes Natural
It’s what I was born to do
Don’t have to think it through
Baby, it’s so easy loving you
It just comes Natural

It’s what I was born to do
Don’t have to think it Through
Baby it’s so easy loving you

Fire burns, Waves Crash
Seeds grow and good things last
Ships sail, Dreams fly
Night falls and Full moons rise

And I love you, It just comes Natural
And I love you, It just comes Natural
It just comes Natural
It just comes Natural

Decision-making goes existential?

A friend told me a great story about cheating on a diet and how it sometimes felt like an “out of body experience.”

I’m thinking that at least 80% of my decision-making, in general, falls under that “out of body experience” category.  My mind and actions are working together in the beginning of the whole process and I’m thinking, okay, we’re on the same wavelength and have a course of action…we’re on a roll!  Well, before you know it, my “actions” forsake the whole plan and instead run ahead on a completely different route.  I can see the whole thing happening from behind and I am usually thinking…”what on earth just happened?” and “that wasn’t part of the plan!”

I’m just saying, you can’t throw trust your actions as far as you can throw them!

Are we there yet?

God is big.  I am small.

Nuff said.

Another Great Reminder!

This is Oswald Chambers’ (My Utmost for His Highest) devo entry for today:

THE WORSHIP OF THE WORK

“Labourers together with God.” 1 Corinthians 3:9 Beware of any work for God which enables you to evade concentration on Him. A great many Christian workers worship their work. The one concern of a worker should be concentration on God, and this will mean that all the other margins of life, mental, moral and spiritual, are free with the freedom of a child, a worshipping child, not a wayward child. A worker without this solemn dominant note of concentration on God is apt to get his work on his neck; there is no margin of body, mind or spirit free, consequently he becomes spent out and crushed. There is no freedom, no delight in life; nerves, mind and heart are so crushingly burdened that God’s blessing cannot rest. But the other side is just as true – when once the concentration is on God, all the margins of life are free and under the dominance of God alone. There is no responsibility on you for the work; the only responsibility you have is to keep in living constant touch with God, and to see that you allow nothing to hinder your co-operation with Him. The freedom after sanctification is the freedom of a child, the things that used to keep the life pinned down are gone. But be careful to remember that you are freed for one thing only – to be absolutely devoted to your co-Worker. We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for. God engineers everything; wherever He puts us our one great aim is to pour out a whole-hearted devotion to Him in that particular work. “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.”

A “purposeful” reminder….

I read this short devotional just a moment ago and it could not have come at a more perfect moment.  It’s been a difficult couple of weeks, with many roller coaster-like ups and downs.  I feel like Satan has been working double time lately, because he felt like my heart was becoming too filled with God.  That’s the one and only thing that scares satan- relationship with Christ.  Of course, I can’t blame everything on satan, because it takes my heart and mind’s attention to be distracted by it.

God gave us a choice, but sometimes I feel like it is an honor and gift that I am still too immature and ill-equipped to handle. It amazes me that in spite of my unsteady faith; God’s love, support, and guidance remain constant.   God is one of those teachers we all dream about…the ones who give the answers to the test as a study guide for the actual exam.  His Word is there to arm us against attacks from satan and ourselves.

I feel like God sent this one special delivery today!   It is a great reminder of what our purpose is on this earth, what we should and shouldn’t put our weight in, and how we go about keeping focused.  What a great encouragement!  Here is the devotional I was talking about…Enjoy!

Purposeful Pursuits

1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV: Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun” (Eccl. 2 10-11). Solomon had seen it all, tried it all, and denied himself nothing. And upon careful reflection, he concluded that there is but one good cause for mankind: “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Eccl. 12:13). There is much to shake us, much to stir, much to cause strife, much to distract, and much to disturb us in our efforts to stand firm in Christ. Whether it be things of the world, things of pleasure, or things of selfish pursuit; they are things that leave us empty. Our greatest joy, fulfillment, meaning and purpose shall only and always be found in Christ all else, is a chasing after the wind.

Today’s Purpose Driven Life Devotional

I thought this was a great reminder to refocus our lives on Godly things as we welcome in the new year.  Life isn’t about personal ambition, possessions, or accomplishments.  It’s about living and breathing God to everyone that we meet and building relationships that bring us closer to one another.  I’ve really been focusing on simplicity over the last couple of weeks and this devo entry just hits it home with the reminder of what life is and isn’t about.  It’s so easy to get so caught up in earthly timelines, which never leave anyone feeling adequate.  It’s impossible for everyone to fit the same timeline, because God has a unique plan for each and every one of us.  Adequacy should come from living according to God’s plan for us and not our own.  It appears that I need to be reminded of that ever single day! Anyway, here is the devo…

Don’t Settle for Happiness; Aim for Joy

2008/12/29

“Whatever happens, dear brothers and sisters, may the Lord give you joy …” Philippians 3:1 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

A man once told me that he’d broken up with his fiancé because she didn’t make him happy enough. Mind you, he was happy with her; she just didn’t make him as happy as he felt a future wife should.

What this man told me gives memorable insight into how some people view happiness: They believe happiness is dependent upon the people, the things, and the circumstances that surrounded them.

Yet, the Bible says don’t settle for happiness; aim for joy.

Joy comes from within; joy is not dependent upon the people in your life, or the possessions you accumulate, or what’s happening at this point in your life.

God says you’ll find joy, when you trust that he’s in control and working to use the good – and the bad – of your life for a greater purpose.

The apostle Paul understood this, writing about joy while in prison, chained to a guard, alone in a foreign city: “Whatever happens, dear brothers and sisters, may the Lord give you joy …” (Philippians 3:1 NLT).
He suggested there are two keys to transforming mere happiness into a deeply-felt, ever-present joy:

First, live each day by grace. Grace means you don’t have to earn God’s love or his approval. And here’s some joyful news: If you don’t have to earn God’s love, then you don’t have to earn anyone else’s love.

God offers his love unconditionally, and you can joyfully live in that grace everyday, all day long. Understanding this drains the tension from your life: you can make mistakes and know that you’re still loved by God, who desires a relationship with you over any rules or rituals.

The man who broke up with his fiancé appears to have had difficulty in understanding grace. His love came with conditions – “As long as you make me happy, I’ll love you” – and that means he probably assumes the love he receives from others is conditional too. How can anyone experience joy when they live each day thinking they have to earn love?

Second, stay focused on what’s really important. There are a lot of little things that can steal your joy – but only if you let them. Jesus taught this: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21 NIV).

My sister, Chaundel, thought about this Bible passage when she learned her house in Maryville, California, was under 9 feet of water. While she and her husband, Tom, were out to dinner, the local levy broke and flooded the area. Even in her grief, she joked, “We drove our Chevy to the levy, and the levy was dry.”

Looking back on that time, Chaundel says, “God taught us that such a loss really makes you think about what’s important and what’s going to last. Our possessions were wiped out in a matter of minutes, but the important thing is that we were alive and well. Within a year, our house was rebuilt, but we could have never replaced each other.”

Happiness is overrated. On the other hand, joy is often forgotten. Yet, joy will stabilize your life as you embrace grace and focus on the things that are truly important, moving a bad hair day down the list and relationships up to the top. No matter what happens, may God give you joy.